Three strategies to build great working relationships
The people around you can be an incredible resource—but not if you don’t get along with them. These practical strategies can help!
“The world revolves around relationships.”
That’s what Hootsuite CEO Irina Novoselsky told me earlier this month when she joined me on my podcast, How Leaders Lead.
It’s a big, bold statement. And if you ask me, it’s spot on.
Our success at work … our satisfaction in life … the legacy we leave …
All of it comes down to the relationships we build!
If you’re a leader, you probably already understand how vital your working relationships are, whether it’s with your bosses, your team, or your network at large.
To do ANYTHING worthwhile, you need to collaborate with other people to make it happen!
So if the world revolves around relationships, then how do you build strong ones—not just with the people you like, but also with the people you don’t?
Today, I’m sharing three practical ways you can build, maintain, and improve the working relationships in your life.
These strategies will not only help you boost your own sense of personal peace but also build a more productive and cohesive team. So let’s dive in!
Strategy #1: Get to know the people you work with
If you want great working relationships, you have to get to know people.
This may seem obvious, but it’s not always the most natural step to take. That’s especially true if you’re working with someone who’s different from you, or with someone who rubs you the wrong way.
Often, leaders gravitate toward the people they’re similar to, and they don’t spend time getting to know people who are wired differently.
Don’t make that mistake. If you work with someone, spend time with them. Try to understand what makes them tick. Learn about their values, career goals, and even their hobbies.
When you understand what drives them and how they differ from you, you’ll develop the empathy and connection you need to get big things done together.
And best of all, when you strengthen the relationship with someone who is different from you, they’ll become one of your most valuable team members. Why? Because they can complement your skill set, call out your blind spots, and bring a perspective you’d otherwise never have.
>>> Apply this insight!
Think of someone in your world you’d like to get to know better. What could you do in the next week to spend more time with them?
Strategy #2: Have a dedicated conversation about how you work
When it comes to working together, most of us just dive right into the task at hand.
But before you do, create a moment for you and your teammates to discuss each other’s working styles.
This is an idea I learned from Michael Bungay Stanier, the bestselling author and founder of Box of Crayons.
In our episode of How Leaders Lead, he recommends that you “have the courage to have a conversation about how [you] work together, before you get into a conversation about what you're going to be working on.”
This conversation can set the tone for how you handle challenges together. You might discuss how you prefer to communicate, handle stress, and make decisions. You might also share what you excel at and what a good working relationship looks like for each of you.
By understanding these things, Michael says, “it creates a relationship that is safe and vital and repairable.”
That way, when your working relationship is tested with a bump in the road or a disagreement, you’ve established the trust you need to navigate it well together.
>>> Apply this insight!
What does a strong working relationship look like for you? Answer this question for yourself so you’re ready to have these upfront conversations with others.
Strategy #3: Understand where interpersonal conflict comes from
I see many leaders try to build strong working relationships by avoiding conflict. They assume that if they don’t ruffle any feathers, everyone will be happier.
But this strategy backfires, according to Patrick Lencioni, the bestselling author and founder of The Table Group.
“Here's what happens when you don't have good conflict around issues and ideas,” Patrick shared with me on How Leaders Lead. “It ferments into conflict around people.”
He encourages leaders not to fear conflict but rather to “sniff it out.” Draw out team members who hesitate to share their thoughts and opinions. And set the example yourself by speaking up when you have a difference of opinion.
It may be uncomfortable! But by bringing those conflicts out into the open and talking about them respectfully, you’ll create a sense of trust and transparency on your team.
People will appreciate feeling heard, even if the final decision doesn’t go their way. And more often than not, you’ll end up with a better solution as a result of the discussion.
Best of all, you’ll prevent resentment from building and growing, and you’ll ultimately create more genuine connections and relationships.
>>> Apply this insight!
In a meeting this week, look for conflict that needs to be discussed. Speak up (or encourage others to) so those issues don’t fester and turn into interpersonal conflict down the road.
Strong working relationships are every great leader’s secret sauce. But they don’t just happen! They take intention, heart, and true self-awareness on your part.
And that’s not all.
These strategies also require empathy — the ability to understand what someone else is thinking and put yourself in their shoes.
Whether you’re getting to know someone …
Defining what a good working relationship looks like…
Or taking the time to get your disagreements out in the open…
All of those things force you to be more empathetic.
And that’s actually the key quality of high-performing teams, according to senior Fortune magazine writer Geoff Colvin.
“Empathy turns out to be the key to great team performance and problem solving together,” Geoff told me. In his review of the research, it matters more than IQ, education, or even the team’s motivation.
So if you want to build and strengthen your working relationships, try these strategies. You’ll find more fulfillment at work and build a more productive and creative team, too.
Now, I’d love to hear from you! How do you build (or improve) your working relationships?
Drop me a note in the comments below. I love learning from you!